Goal Setter Blog

Can you help yourself from giving free advice? Can you let your children make their own mistakes? Do you interfere with other people's plans?

It would appear being Mr Fit It is typically a male problem. But out there people want empathy - not solutions. People deep down really do know what to do about their issues. Before they jump in they would like an unbiased opinion. Being forthright with a fix fails the impartiality test.

I once had a friend who complained about his business loosing market share. His professional clients disappeared one by one and he was left with an ageing clientele who built up over time by word of mouth. This man claims he never advertised in his life. I offered numerous opportunities to him - none of which he ever followed up. We are still good friends but I have given up trying to help him. He sees himself squeezed out of his market niche through competition and increased regulation. He can't afford to take on an apprentice to take on larger jobs which can also be more risky. In fact he also works as an offsider for another professional who invested in specialised expensive equipment. His formula is of course to make things last as they are as long as possible.

I have a daughter who has the opportunity to launch into business for herself after 3 years of training in her industry. My interest is to see her reach financial independence by selling her own merchandise in trade fairs and on the internet. Alas she doesn't seem to have the marketing drive even though she has a good grasp of her industry and could release unique products no one else could copy. As a father you have to learn to let go and not try to re-create yourself in your children. I had my own chance at making a go of my life. My children's life belongs to them.

If you tell people what to do - they will fight it - even though it may be the right thing to do. During my sales training I learned how to close a sale. You repeatedly come back with a minor question. Answering that question implies you have already mentally bought my product.

Likewise in relation to friends and family members it is better to let them come to your point of view by their own devices, in their own time while refraining from uttering the proverbial "I told you so!"

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